Number of Men Suicide , accident, murder , job loss, work place harassment increasing in India at rocket speed, due to multiple Unfair laws made by Indian Government . Today SIF became a Ray of hope for many abused/distressed men of India. Join Hands to Stop Abuse of Men as Men are Human too.
My daughter in law tried to strangle me, hit me with stones on my head, said the woman who was beaten up by daughter in law (ANI)
A woman in Bijnor, Uttar Pradesh has been arrested on charges of attempt to murder after a shocking video, uploaded by a social activist went viral on Monday, which showed her brutally beating up and torturing her elderly mother-in-law.
The video was uploaded by social activist Kundan Srivastava on his Facebook page and was supported by an appeal to Chief Minister Akhilesh Yadav to take action against the woman named Sangeeta Jain.
The video, captured on January 5, shows Sangeeta brutally assaulting 70-year-old Rajrani Jain, with a brick and trying to strangle her with a rope.
The footage, just over a minute long, shows Sangeeta first beating her sick and helpless 70-year-old mother-in-law with bare hands and then with a brick on her head, repeatedly. She then used a cloth to make a noose around her neck in an attempt to kill her.
She even tries to pull the old woman down from her bed.
The police,have registered a case under section 307 of the Indian Penal Code against Sangeeta, Subhash Singh Baghel,SP told ANI.
Sangeeta’s husband Sandip Kumar Jain installed a CTV camera in their home to catch her red-handed as she had been assaulting his parents for quite some time.
”This has been happening for quite some time now. She used to assault and abuse my parents very often. I complained about her but no one used to listen to me. Then after waiting for two years, I installed a CCTV camera expecting that she will fix her ways, but she didn’t. That day she crossed all the limits. I installed the camera to unmask her since the law is on the woman’s side when these types of cases are concerned,” said Sandip.
Recalling the incident, the victim said that her daughter-in-law attacked her mercilessly. “My daughter in law attacked me, she slapped me again and again. She hit with me a hard stone,” she is quoted as saying by ANI.
Sangeeta and her husband Sandeep Jain have been married for 7 years and a divorce case is going on, CNN IBN reported. Sangeeta also allegedly filed a false report against her husband.
Disturbing CCTV Footage
Leads to Arrest
Another horrifying incident :
CCTV captures how a woman beats her mother in law mercilessly:
About International Men’s Day
International Men’s Day (IMD) is an annual international event celebrated on November 19. Inaugurated in 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago, the day and its events find support from a variety of individuals and groups in Australia, the Caribbean, North America, Asia, Europe, Africa, and the United Nations.
Speaking on behalf of UNESCO, Director of Women and Culture of Peace Ingeborg Breines said of IMD, “This is an excellent idea and would give some gender balance.” She added that UNESCO was looking forward to cooperating with IMD organizers.
The objectives of celebrating an International Men’s Day include focusing on men’s and boy’s health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models. It is an occasion to highlight discrimination against men and boys and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular for their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care.
International Men’s Day is celebrated in over 50 countries, including Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Australia, India, China, United States, Singapore, Malta, United Kingdom, South Africa, Moldova, Hungary, Ireland, Ghana, Canada, Denmark, Austria, France, Pakistan, Antigua and Barbuda, St. Kitts and Nevis, Grenada and Italy, on November 19, and global support for the celebration is broad.
According to its creators, International Men’s Day is a time to highlight discrimination against men and boys in areas of health, family law, education, media or other areas and to project their positive contributions and achievements. During past years the method of commemorating International Men’s Day included public seminars, classroom activities at schools, radio and television programs, peaceful displays and marches, debates, panel discussions, and art displays.The manner of observing this annual day is optional, and any appropriate forums can be used.
Early pioneers of IMD reminded that the day is not intended to compete against International Women’s Day, but is for the purpose of highlighting men’s experiences. Each year a secondary theme is suggested, such as peace in 2002, men’s health in 2003, healing and forgiveness in 2007, or positive male role models in 2009, although it is not compulsory to adopt these themes and participants are welcome to come up with their own to suit their needs and local concerns. In 2009 the following broad objectives were ratified as a basis for all International Men’s Day observations:
- To promote positive male role models not just movie stars and sports men but everyday, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.
- To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment.
- To focus on men’s health and wellbeing social, emotional, physical and spiritual.
- To highlight discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law.
- To improve gender relations and promote gender equality.
- To create a safer, better world where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential
According to Mens Activism News Network International Men’s Day also interfaces with ‘Movember‘ – a worldwide moustache growing charity event held during November each year that raises funds and awareness for men’s health, one of the key themes promoted on IMD.It also interfaces with Universal Children’s Day on Nov 20 and forms a 48 hour celebration firstly of men, then children respectively, with a recognition of the bonds between them.
Posted at: Aug 19 2015 12:33AM
Sunit Dhawan Tribune News Service Rohtak, August 18
What the chargesheet says
- A chargesheet indicates none of the 50-odd witnesses in the case supported the sisters’ version
- The girl who had shot the video of the incident had refuted the sisters’ contention of eve-teasing
- The polygraph tests of the complainants and the accused indicated the sisters were concealing some information while the accused came out clean in the test
The police have maintained that the allegations of eve-teasing/molestation levelled by Sonepat sisters Pooja and Aarti against three boys of Aasan village in the district seemed to be untrue after investigations.
A chargesheet submitted before a local court in this regard indicates that none of the 50-odd witnesses in the case had supported the sisters’ version. Even the girl who had shot the video of the incident had refuted the sisters’ contention of eve-teasing.
Moreover, the polygraph tests of the complainants as well as the accused had also indicated the sisters were concealing some information while the accused boys had come out clean in the test.
However, the Sonepat sisters’ lawyer has expressed reservation over the turn of events. He said it was not clear whether the chargesheet had been submitted by the Rohtak police SIT or the crime branch of the state police. “In any case, we demand a fresh probe into the matter by the CBI or any other Central investigating agency as we doubt a fair inquiry by the state police,” said their lawyer Attar Singh Pawar.
The sisters had thrashed three boys on board a moving bus in November, 2014, alleging that they had molested them. They also lodged a police complaint following which the boys were arrested.
The boys, however, maintained that they had not molested the girls and the real issue was getting a seat vacated for an elderly woman, which triggered an altercation. An SIT was constituted to investigate the matter.
A number of eyewitnesses came forward with their statements, and all of them supported the boys’ version.
Accusing the Rohtak police of tardy investigation, the sisters and their father had requested the Rohtak range IGP to get their case transferred elsewhere. On their request, the case had been transferred to the State Crime Branch.
Payal Gwalani | Aug 17, 2015, 03.33 PM IST
Nagpur: The laws and policies in the country are inclined towards women in a way that they are based on the assumption that women can never be perpetrators of a crime. While this has been a bone of contention for men’s rights activists, they now believe it is time that men’s social, emotional and physical wellbeing is given due importance while designing policies.
During their 7th annual national conference on Saturday, over 180 delegates representing 50 NGOs under the banner of Save Indian Family (SIF) discussed these issues. They met to brainstorm on the need for gender neutral laws in the country. A few resolutions were passed during the meet, which will be turned into a memorandum of demands and handed over to several authorities including PM Narendra Modi.
“Over the last ten years that we have been running a helpline for men, there have been a lot of distressed and abused men who have had some common complaints. Often, these are men with a familial strife going on. If these problems end up in the court, it is assumed by most legal entities that women don’t lie or cheat. Such biased opinion of lawmakers only makes it more difficult for men facing abuse to seek legal resort,” said Swarup Sarkar, founder of SIF’s Delhi chapter.
For any kind of domestic abuse, be it verbal, emotional, sexual or economical, there is no protection of men in present Domestic Violence Act, said president of Mumbai-based Vastav Foundation Amit Deshpande. “The law here assumes that women can only be victims of abuse while only men can be the perpetrators. Even the questionnaires given to men and women under the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) reflect this thought. It should be no surprise that dowry law, domestic violence law and rape laws are the most abused laws in the country,” he said.
The number of false cases under these laws is so high that the men’s rights activists call it ‘legal terrorism’. They are also concerned that marital rape laws will also be misused if not made gender neutral.
“Even when it comes to legal separation of a couple with children, a mother is always looked as a better caregiver than a father. The courts overlook the fact that for its overall development, a child needs both his parents. Though men pay more than 82% of income tax, the government has not bothered to address our problems,” said Bangalore-based activist Kumar Jahgirdar, national president of NGO Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP).
SOME PROBLEMS FACED BY MEN
- High suicide rate: Male to female suicide ratio is 2.1: 1. Every 5.84 minutes, a man commits suicide in India with family disputes being the single largest reason.
- Abuse against boys not given prominence: When violence against women and girls are always on everyone’s agenda, abuse of boys is never talked about or discussed despite a recent Women and Child Development ministry survey report showing that among those sexually abused 53% are boys
- Misuse of harassment laws: Laws meant to protect women from dowry harassment, domestic violence and sexual harassment at workplace are among the most misused laws in the country with a huge number of cases being false allegations.
- Mothers given preference over fathers for child custody: Even working women expect the father to take care of all the child’s expenses and give her alimony. Yet, fathers get a few hours in a week with the child in the name of visitation rights.
- No one to look into men’s issues: Whether it is their health problems or social issues, there is no study, records or statistics
- Set up National Commission for Men in line with National Commission for Women
- Pass a bill in the Parliament making shared parenting mandatory as per the charter of United Nation Convention of Child Rights.
- Make Domestic Violence Act gender neutral and set up men help lines across the country to address the problem faced by husbands and to prevent high suicide rates among married men.
- Make provision to study issues pertaining to men’s health by experts.
- Punish people who misuse Dowry Act, Domestic Violence Act, rape laws strictly
- Take steps for rehabilitation of survivors of false cases who have been acquitted after trial
- De-link Women and Child Development ministry and set up a separate ministry for child welfare
National Conference on Advocacy of Gender Neutral Laws
This Independence Day, a group of 50 NGOs, under the banner of Save Indian Family (SIF) and 180+ activists from across the nation will assemble in Mumbai to brainstorm advocacy of gender neutral laws. The seventh national confluence has been earmarked to evolve with strategy of protecting vulnerable men from laws facing undue harassment due to heavily loaded legal provisions against men. It’s an ironyl that “India”, presumed to be a patriarchal society, has marginalized men like never before. Apart from gender neutral laws the group will also discuss the concerning issue of suicide of men & deteriorating health status and lack of medical facilities for men & boys.
Suicides is one avenue which exhibits the social trauma and mental status of a men NCRB 2014 illustrates the vulnerable situation men are facing in present scenario. Every 5.9 min a man is committing suicide in India with family disputes as the single largest reason of male suicide. Referring to the latest statistics from NCRB, we wish to highlight following:
As against last year’s ratio of 2.17 Husband Suicide per Wife Suicide in India, in 2014, the ratio has increased to 2.21 Husband Suicide per Wife Suicide. Similarly, Male Suicide to Female Suicide ratio has increased from 2.05 last year to 2.10 in 2014. This means that with the Anti-Men environment in India, more Men and Husbands are forced to commit suicide. India, indeed, is becoming unsafe for men.
In India, 1 male commits suicide every 5.9 minutes in 2014. While Women suicide is 1 in every 12.36 minutes. Unfortunately, still Government is not showing any intent to bring equality for Men in Law. In 2014, India witnessed Male Suicide (89129), Husband Suicide (59744), Female Suicide (42521) while least was Wife Suicide (27064).
Another fact is that suicide of women in age-group 30-60 years is 39% of total women suicide while the same for men is 55%. This clearly shows that the age group of 30-60 years is 16% more vulnerable for men as compared to women. It is pertinent to mention here that this is the age group which is contributing maximum to GDP of India and hence government’s loss of focus to men of this age groups specifically will have a direct effect on the GDP of the country.
Another clear indicator of how growing to be an Adult male in India is crime is showing in the NCRB 2014 data. Till the age of 18 years, for every 100 suicides, boys and girls are almost in equal proportions. The moment a boy becomes a man, i.e. of every 100 suicides of adults in India, 2/3rd of the suicides are by Male. This is clearly arriving to the fact that since POCSO is Gender Neutral (and other laws are too), the suicide ratio is almost same irrespective of Gender. The moment laws become biased, Male suicide sky-rockets by another 25%-28%.
It is ironical that Ministry of Women and Child Development, in their own report in 2007 had said that of every 100 children sexually abused, 53 are boys but still the Rape laws of India or other laws do not cover men as victims because of which we see a huge increase of Suicide of Male gender the moment they become adult. The suicides are because of either false rape case threats or because of them being victims of Rape by women and no law to protect them.
Cannot be directly established but indeed in 2013-2014, Men in India did see some relief with launch of SIF One (National helpline for Men – 888-2-498-498 ) and also the directions from Hon’ble Supreme Court in ‘Arnesh Kumar vs State of Bihar’ gave a huge hope to Husbands / Married men and that’s where we are pleased to see their suicide rate coming down.
According to the Accidental deaths (by unnatural causes) data of NCRB 2014, 80% of victims are Men but still the Government is not waking up to make workplace, society, public areas, homes safer for men.
More than 85% of Traffic Deaths and over 81% of Traffic injuries victims are Men and still the Government is ignoring men completely in their policies and their budgets.
Single largest reason as revealed by NCRB for suicides was found to be family disputes (21.7%).
The Confluence of activists will discuss the expansion of SIF-ONE helpline further. The self-sponsored, non-funded helpline is a Single number National helpline service run by volunteers 24X7 to counsel and guide men in distress. In the absence of any support structure & government aid or distress centres for men, several women helpline numbers too have been seen flooded with complaints from men. The grim scenario of men facing atrocities is a black spot as India when it is assumed to be a male dominated society where men even lack basic amenities as gender neutral laws and distress centres. The distress of Males in India is further strengthened by the fact that SIF One, got 34% more calls as compared to Government Women helpline in last 1 year.
Men are completely on an alien land specially if the complainant is a woman in case of disputes. 65 crore male population do not have any law to protect themselves, in case they face cruelty or any form of abuse at the hands of any female. WCD itself reported that male child Sexual abuse is 6% more than female child yet the laws remain biased to protect girl child alone. Amendment in various laws to protect women fail to protect men under similar scenario of molestation & sexual abuse. The forum will formalize a strategic group to create legal sensitization and seek constitutional amendments and urge lawmaking authorities to enroll men in the frame work of laws to protect interest of men.
Where a plethora of initiatives have been taken up by the government for the women & Child welfare ministry, an absence of a dedicated “Men Welfare ministry” explains gender Apartheid and men facing poor health condition and medical aid. Out of Illness 16078 men & 7663 women committed suicide. AIDS forced 184 men & 48 women to suicide. Men are more prone to various forms of cancer as 407 men & only 175 women committed suicide because of cancer. Other prolonged illness forced 10425 men & 4992 women to end their lives. Paralysis cases male suicide was 3 times that of women. 407 men & 175 men committed suicide because of paralysis. Where men are prone to illness & health hazards Indian men do not receive any respite in the Indian society. The Forum in this national confluence will evolve with a strategy to create groups to sensitize parliamentarians to evolve with a timeline & concrete plan to address male specific heath issues.
Men overburdened with the social expectation of providing & protecting their families and society face larger social trauma. Bankruptcy took away 2098 men vis a vis 210 women i.e. almost 10 times a man is under the pressure to be the provider and Protector. It is widely known that bankruptcy related suicides are by men who are sincere citizens, not being able to live upto the expectations of either the lender or the one who he is forced to provide. Reasons of Poverty claimed lives of 1419 men & 280 women, unemployment claimed the lives of 1965 & 242 women. Thus strengthening the fact that men are more vulnerable to social stigma and unable to meet the expectation of family & society succumbed to death.
National Conference is aimed to evolve a consensus from nationwide volunteers to evolve with strategic initiatives to empathize with the deteriorating situation of men in legal front, heath care & Social Status. To address men in distress through various channels, campaign, create groups and establish the respect for men. To avoid the inevitable & stand by all Men to address their pain n support them for better living. To restore the dignity of men & give them equality in true sense.
For more details contact:
Partha Tr – +91 888 555 0294 ( Hyderabad )
Call SIF One + 91 8882 498 498 (for other states)
Jul 24 2015 : The Times of India (Hyderabad)
BY MY WIFE
My bed-ridden father assaulted my fatherinlaw, I clutched her neck and then banged her head against the wall, and we constantly tortured my wife demanding a dowry of `1,000,000….,” thus begins the video, The Chair: I wish I never got married. A first person account of a harassed husband who recounts the suffering he went through in a bad marriage, this video which generated close to 40,000 views, brings to fore the plight of a rising number of men who are tortured and harassed by their wives, who slap Section 498a on them at the slightest pretext. Unfortunately for these men, the law is not on their side. Forget proving their innocence, even getting someone to hear their side of the story proves to be an impossible task. Ever since the video was uploaded, more and more harassed husbands are speaking up, even in Hyderabad. The fight for men’s rights is as big a reality as its feminist counterpart. Even though several organisations have come up in the recent past to actively campaign for gender-neutral laws, finding a fair playing ground seems an uphill task for most harassed husbands.
I WAS MANHANDLED AND KICKED
I got married in 2010. She started off constantly trying to prove that she is superior and picked on everything I did. She conceived three months into the marriage, and left my house. I wanted her to live with me and it still pains me that I missed the birth of my son. She named our child herself and told me about it on the phone. I was kicked and manhandled by my in-laws. All of this constitutes harassment, but as a man, I found little help when I approached the police. They assumed that I was at fault even though there was no evidence against me. I finally got divorced in 2014, but not without undergoing my share of trauma. —Dr Sravan
I WAS SLAPPED 500 TIMES
We got married in 2013 and moved to Australia. My wife was a control freak. Even if I was late by 30 minutes, she would ask, ‘Who did you sleep with?’ The physical abuse started when one day I woke up in the middle of the night, to her hysterically beating me. That continued for months. I would have been slapped 500 times in six months. She would also hit herself. I did not want to involve the police in Australia and I was too embarrassed to even speak about it to my family. When we returned to India in 2014, I consulted a psychiatrist, who confirmed that my wife was mentally unstable. But it did not go down well with my fatherinlaw, who refused to have her treated. The differences led to them even sending goons to my office to force me to stop taking her to the doctor. When I went to the police, they told me it’s a family matter and I have to solve it internally. I am sure that would not have been the response if a woman walked into the police station. My trauma is far from over — it has now escalated to a dowry harassment case against me,my mother, my aunt, my brother, and a domestic violence case against me, my mother and my brother. —Kumar* (name changed)
I AM STUCK IN INDIA
I was based in New Zealand; I had told my wife clearly that I did not want to move back to India. She got a visa nine months after marriage and moved there. Gradually, her behaviour changed. At first, it did not make much sense — she would talk to my friends about me, she brought up my ex-girlfriends all the time. Then things got out of hand and I suggested that she go to India and cool off. Once she was here, she started telling horrible lies about me to the elders in our community. Everyone thought I was the culprit, when I was actually the victim. When I was told to come for a meeting with the elders, I refused ’cos I felt that issues between man and wife should be dealt by the couple. But the next thing I know, a 498a case was filed. My mother, brother and me were taken into judicial custody. The police asked us to submit all our passports and then released us. Now, I am still stuck in India without a job. And although I have proofs of my innocence — including email exchanges — it will never be considered. The fact is that I as a man in India, I have zero rights. — Sailesh
Lawyers who defend men are criticised, booed, spat at…
LAW FAILING FAMILIES?
Senior advocate Milind Gokhale says at least one harassed husband comes to him per week. He says, “The entire law in India is loaded in favour of women. But not many of us understand the real-life implications of this. Once a wife goes to court, two things are bound to happen: one, the incarceration of the man and his family; two, the unbearable humiliation that comes with it. Having dealt with thousands of these cases, I can tell you that these allegations ruin these men from within, rarely do they bounce back.” Even as a lawyer, defending harassed men is not easy, Gokhale admits. “We are criticised, booed and even spat at. Even judges tend to sympathise with the women,” he says.
COUNSELLING AND ACTIVISM
The NGO Save Indian Family, that launched its Hyderabad chapter in April 2014, uncovered several shocking cases of male harassment, including rape of teenage boys to old parents fighting against the mistreatment of their sons and widows who are fighting for justice having lost their sons to suicide. Men’s rights NGOs have registered that among the laws that are generally misused, the ones that top the list are not just IPC 498a(Dowry Law) but there’s also widespread misuse of rape laws, workplace harassment laws, custody laws, maintenance laws, divorce laws etc. While counsellors who work with men who are victims of harassment do not give any legal advice, they say that these victims need a lot of psychological counselling. Most men who are beaten up only muster up the courage to call the helplines but are too embarrassed to attend meetings. These meetings are not only attended by male victims, but also their sisters and mothers who come and share their stories.
I HEARD ABOUT IT FROM THE MEDIA
“It began with her condition that I must not speak to my parents and my siblings. She wanted to live separately and we moved out. For four months, I did not even speak to my family. She would spy on my phone too and constantly threaten me of divorce. She moved away on job and then followed the 498a case against me. She did not even inform me. I got to know of it through media. It was all over the newspapers, across five districts. My humiliated parents almost committed suicide. It feels like death when you read the allegations, you know. She accused me of torturing her for dowry `5 lakh. And although I was right by her side when she gave birth to our daughter, she alleged that I wasn’t with her because she was having a girl child. She also slapped domestic violence and maintenance cases against me. Today, being a working professional, I spend most of my time running around courts. — Shravan S
FROM A VICTIM TO COUNSELLOR
“I got married in 2000 and after three years, things started to turn bad. She moved in with her parents and started forcing me to move in with them, which I refused — leading to her filing a harassment case against me in 2004. This was followed by a few maintenance cases. The latest maintenance case was in 2008. I was finally acquitted in 2009. So, it was a good five years of trauma. In 2008, I decided to become a counsellor. I wanted to help other people instead of just crying about my case. And since then I have counselled more than 300 people per year. The problem is that men are vulnerable, but they fail to express themselves — again because of the stereotype that men don’t cry. Take for instance the battery cases, we have colleagues or relatives report to us but the men almost never show up at meetings, because it is embarrassing. Also, for men victims trauma is largely emotional as opposed to the women victims who are manhandled physically. Another marked difference is that there is no support system for men, as much as there is for women. You will hardly find any organisations for men. — Partha
Gender-neutral laws needed
Kumar Jahgirdar, a prominent activist in the cause for equal rights for men, hit the national headlines when he fought against his ex-wife Chethana Ramatheertha, now the wife of Anil Kumble, to get shared custody of the children and became a poster boy for men’s rights. Aware of the criticism that men’s rights campaigns often face, Jahgirdar sums up the whole campaign “Society needs to understand that we are not anti-women The campaign is for gender-neutral laws.”
Link to JEPG http://s7.postimg.org/cciqgcysr/Sif_Hyd_Article.jpg
In India Women have rights, Children have rights, Animals have rights, even Plants have rights. But Men have no rights. We have a ministry for everything, even plants and trees but no Ministry for Men. Breast cancer is a national issue, prostate cancer is not. Dowry death is a social issue but the alarming number of married men suicides (~65,000 per year) and Husband burning is not. Dowry is illegal, alimony and maintenance is a legally enforceable right. Calling a wife names is Domestic Violence recognised by law, beating and abusing a husband is not.
As a women you can use 100% of laws in India, As a man you can use only 90% laws in India. As a man you can be an accused in 100% of the laws (50 exclusive laws), As a woman you can be accused only in 90% of the laws. All this when, Article 15 of the constitution says, “No discrimination in name of Gender”.
A mere allegation from a female is enough to ruin a male’s life through gender-biased-laws. Many of these gender-biased-laws are against the basic principal of natural justice that “a hundred criminals may go free but no innocent should be punished” as the burden of proof is on the accused to prove his innocence. Non-bailable sections like IPC 498A have become a tool of extortion using the state machinery. Even the Hon’ble Supreme Court has expressed alarm over the gross misuse of IPC 498A calling it “Legal Terrorism”. This family breaker law has destroyed lakhs of families. Till date more number of Indians have been arrested under IPC 498A (the so-called women friendly law) than the number arrested by the British during 100 years of independence struggle. The law-abuser has nothing to lose as there is no summary procedure for punishment for false cases.
There is no forum or platform for men to discuss and resolve these issues specific to men. Time has come to talk about true gender equality where the rights and duties of a male are no different than the rights and duties of a female. Time has come to make laws Gender-Neutral. Time has come to seek strict punishment for those to misuse the law. Time has come to be fair to the men of the country. Time has come to form a National Commission for Men / Ministry of Men’s Welfare a long held demand of men of the country.
A girl today will be a mother tomorrow.
A daughter-in-law today will be a mother-in-law tomorrow.
An accuser today could be an accused tomorrow.
Don’t watch this injustice in silence, you could be the next victim of a false allegation.
If you love your father, brother, son or husband please join Save Indian Family in a peaceful protest on 5th May 2015 for the formation of a National Commission for Men / Ministry of Men’s Welfare and to demand scrapping of IPC 498A.
Save Indian Family (SIF) Movement is a group of over 40 NGOs across the globe (India, USA, UK, UAE, Japan, Australia, etc). Since inception, in the year 2005, the group has been helping and supporting harassed men & their families who suffer immensely due to misuse of Gender-Based-Laws (IPC 498A, PWDVA 2005, CrPC 125, Rape Laws, Sexual Harassment at Workplace, etc). The Save Indian Family (SIF) Movement through its various allied NGOs has so far helped over 10 Lakh families offering free help to such victims through its National Helpline SIF-ONE (888-2-498-498) launched last year and through weekly meetings conducted at several cities across the country. The group has a strong online presence running on a backbone of dozens of blogs and over 16 yahoogroups across the globe.
Sharing the vision of Save Indian Family (SIF) is Dr. Santosh Kumar B Potdar, Consulting Professor and Social Activist who has embarked on an unprecedented cycle journey of nearly 2500 km alongwith his second wife Geeta in order to create awareness against Gender Biased Laws. As a well-educated, multi skilled individual, Dr. Santosh transformed the lives of several of his students as a Professor before his own life was transformed due to a false IPC 498A case filed by his first wife. 7 years of court battles took a toll on his career and finances.
If highly educated youth are made to spend several years of their lives fighting false cases instituted using Gender Biased Laws, how can our country which counts its young skilled population as its strength, become a superpower? Save Indian Family appeals to the men and women of the country to come in large numbers and support the cause of Indian men.
On Women’s Day,
Read the suicide note of a man
Mar 07, 2015 at 06:12pm IST
While the entire country is rejoicing and celebrating Women’s Day, an old mother is crying inconsolably in Jhansi. Her son, Avadhesh Yadav committed suicide on February 25, 2015 because of a “woman”. This day has no meaning for her as she is confused of the word that means “Women Empowerment”. Laws that have been made to protect women, abuse of same became the reason for her son’s death.
Here are excerpts from suicide note left by Avadhesh Yadav:
My name is Avadhesh Yadav and I work in a private bank. I got married to Unnati Yadav on December 7, 2012. Within a week of marriage, she started pestering my family by asking divorce for no reason. We ignored. She never allowed me to come close to her for 2-3 months after the marriage. My father advised that with time everything will be fine. But it got only worse. She started misbehaving with my parents, hurling abuses at them. When we complained about this to her family, they gave excuses of some “external influence” on her and they would get her treated. She now started going almost every day at her home and threatened us of a dowry case if we said anything.
Avadhesh Yadav sacrificed his life to save his family from further humiliation.
In September 2013, she left my home. In December, my father was getting retired and he wished that his daughter-in-law should be part of this program. We signed a mutual agreement where she accepted her wrongdoings and promised to be cordial with the family and I promised to do everything possible to take good care of her. She came back only to harass us even more. She demanded that I leave my parents. Threats of dowry and domestic violence cases increased. Things came to a point where she left my home again in July 2014 with her entire belongings.
On advice of lawyers, we filed a case of restitution of conjugal rights, requesting her to come back. Three months after that in September, she filed a false dowry and domestic violence case (498A) on me, my mother, father, elder brother and his wife. We got bail. Her brother told me she wants to come back.
I refused saying now this was not possible and suggested that we get separated amicably. He refused and threatened me of false cases of molestation, rape on my father and brother and, acid attack on me and getting me killed. Unnati eventually filed a case of molestation in January on my father and brother and they were arrested. I don’t know what will this step of mine lead to but I want to save my family from all this humiliation. After I go, they would probably be in peace. I also wish to ask our law makers, how they can make laws that give so much credence to mere words of a woman that whatever the other person is saying has no relevance. Shouldn’t the other side be heard too? My father and brother were picked up by police on her statement alone without any evidence.
My family that never even saw a police station has to now do the rounds just because of me. Without any evidence we have been labelled Criminals. Nothing that Unnati wrote about dowry or violence is true. Authorities can investigate the veracity of her statements. They claim to have spent Rs 20 lakh on the wedding; can someone ask them where did they get so much money from? They are demanding that we transfer my father’s house in her name. A person who is making such demands before even living with me, what will she do later? I do not want to see my family in pain. I could think of no other way than this to save my family. Please help my family get out of this problem.
Mummy, Papa, forgive me please and take care of yourself. Please do not cry as tears in your eyes would trouble me even more. MY LAST WISH – PLEASE LEAVE MY FAMILY MEMBERS.
A case of abetment to suicide has been registered against Avadhesh’s wife and her brother. Had this been a married woman, this death would have been called “Dowry Death.” Avadhesh’s death would not be called “Reverse Dowry” death.
Had this been a married woman, leaving a three page suicide note, it would have made national headlines. This story got published in a paper or two.
Had this been a married woman, entire family of husband would have been thrown in jail, even if there was no suicide note. In this case, no one has been arrested yet. This is not just Avadhesh’s story. Several men are committing suicide because of false accusations.
As a social activist, I get calls from Men everyday with almost similar tales to share – refusal to any kind of physical contact by wife after marriage, threats of self harm on requests of physical intimacy, pressure of separation from parents, no participation in any household chores, treating in-laws like servants with both physical as well as mental abuse and whenever there is any argument or complaint over this behaviour, threats of a dowry case and sending every family member behind bars. One case was so horrible, that this man’s wife fought daily with him and dialled 100 blaming him instead. There was police at his home every day. Even though the police realized that the man was not at mistake, they could do little to help the man and absolutely nothing against the woman!
There is little a man can do if in an abusive relationship apart from filing divorce. And divorce mostly comes with even bigger abuse – false cases of dowry and domestic violence. Where not only you but your entire family is made to suffer!
Trauma of families trapped in false cases doesn’t end ever. Though this is a criminal provision, place of alleged “crime” makes absolutely no difference. A dowry case is usually filed by women in their own home town even though the case is state vs husband and his family. This basically means husband and his entire family travels to a different city/state for cases even if they are innocent. It takes huge toll on mind of a person when he sees his entire family suffering because of him.
Though Avadhesh hanged himself on February 25, he must have been dying inside since long. How would a man feel, if his old paralytic father is accused of molesting his own daughter-in-law? A young life snapped because of a system that doesn’t bother to verify claims made if it is by a “woman.”
In most 498A cases, either you pay huge money to the girl to settle the case or you fight in the court to prove your innocence for years and years. The latest trend is inclusion of false molestation/rape charges on father and brothers of the husband to ensure arrest of everyone and put tremendous pressure.
Being labelled a criminal when you have done no crime is painful. Being labelled a rapist when you have not done it is rape of one’s soul. Seeing your family suffer every hour because of you is nothing short of a death. I receive mails from many men who are facing false cases of either dowry or rape or molestation that they feel like committing suicide. What they don’t know is, even after their death, the charges on their family members remain. They still have to fight unless the case is quashed.
As a woman, this women’s day I beg to ask my fellow women – Is this why we demanded stringent laws? Is this what we mean by women empowerment that a woman can ruin anyone’s life if she wants? Isn’t a mother-in-law tortured by her daughter-in-law a woman? Would we ever get rid of crime against women if women start using laws as weapons and our courts get choked with false cases? Is it empowerment that a woman plays gender card and settle scores with whosoever she wants? False cases of crime against women should concern women rights activists because it hurts their cause the most. False cases are no less a crime against actual victims of these crimes. “If cry of wolf is made too often, assistance might not come when actual wolf appears.”
As a woman, this women’s day, I also request media to at least make an effort to know the other side of the story, know the truth before reporting it. First a false case and then your name splashed all over media in that case does irreparable damage to a person. Report acquittal with as much fervour as you report an accusation!
Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj is a journalist and a documentary filmmaker. She is currently documenting misuse of section 498A of IPC through her documentary film ‘Martyrs of Marriage.’ She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org